it hacked into that fat blue vein under your tongue hooking in
with claws while eating all the meat it cuts off the blood so the organ withers
once it has eaten your tongue it stays clamped to the stub & speaks instead of you
Evil Goats Terrorise National Park local residents demand culling
quartering & grilling with onions 'before it's too late' said someone who
wasn't there in the present climate it would be deeply irresponsible
not to speak in Securicrotch cliches as we roll out more rafts of blended
opportunities for mixed-sector partnership the personal freedoms
which have been referred to by someone subsequently thrown out of the scout hut
were acceptable once but this is now & it's threatened by
at least 300 goats in the Nantgwynant district of Snowdonia:
damaging property vandalising gardens & undermining
the fabric of civilisation not to mention the washing line
& engaging in practices with outsize knickers draped over their eyes
which cause offence to all right-thinking persons & preclude satisfactory
communication with the locals these beasts persist in playing
chicken with all the passing cars we've reached a point where it would be
a dereliction of duty not to call in National Trust marksmen
to cull the most troublesome some of which have three foot horns
& alien pupils we owe it to our children
to shoot the goats with the yellowest teeth in the head
in the most painless & humane way possible
I've now lost letters from two of Byron's coevals: Ball Hughes
(The Golden Ball) & Poodle Byng as well as Niki Vendola from Puglia
a successful gay communist politician though I may have confused
Nik's dates after the fight in Hunstanton town hall
I ended up having a beer with the Dutch wrestler Rough Hewn Cleat
who said his dad played bass with Heinz back in the 60s
all peroxide crewcuts & nail-varnish red Strats:
I'd like one of each for Christmas
Data Rape & Function Creep won the week's tag-team cup
the file frays my edges into the fog
honk & that slight give under the heel in the dark which is
England after rabbits & Mott the Hoople were brought in by the Normans
we got the idea of drafting all immigrants
to bolster our presence in Iraq or whatever it was called
as long as they brought their own mobile phones penknives or spitfires
from Poland Rumania & Bulgaria to ensure a fully integrated
European system just don't spill water in the glider
how many half-empty tins of household paint can you hold in one fist?
ensure no ice crystals remain within the cavity
blow through the end without legs
Cymothoa exigua enters through the gill of the snapper fish
& feeds on its blood until it can become its tongue
the whole body & shoal wagged by something else's
language for a generation
Cambridge/Norfolk November