The kiss

I wake up in cold sweats,
Shiver, suffused in dread,
Fear and self-loathing.
I go to sleep crying.
During the day a rat gnaws at the pit of my stomach.
You pass by.
My mind shuts down;
My eyes dart about,
Seeking an exit.

Only in sleep I rest
Because then you come to me,
Sit on my lap,
Run your hands through my hair,
Stroke the sides of my face and
We kiss.