Is it a farewell sortie, a surprise goodbye, given one lunge at a time,
in galleries where I cannot escape, by only those I dislike??
This one, daughter of Aungil, sister of Alpga,
mother of Aidu, niece of Kaspar, cousin of Kelei, lover of Emar,
a white girl with brown eyes arriving in a burkha,
of sorts, a headdress, a necktrail, a clothtail,
& then jeans, makeup on the centered eye, tight designer shirt, high heels.
She never blinks; she makes me want the fate of Origen.
She wouldn't allow him to be canonised. Saintliness does not come to the neutered.
(Is it considered too simple for a man to take away the tool of his desire to cease desire?
Too easy to devour a lifetime's suffering and resistance in a moment of insane courage?
Blade in finger, it doesn't seem an easy way out to me)
The resistance must come from within, not without.
Abelard too, but that was done to him, for plumemanship.
It hardly ceased that outpouring.
He was providential; I despise my wife as he loved Heloise.